Pokémon is a pretty funny show, I reckon. Given that, there are lots of great quotes that I just have to share with you all. ^_^.

Quotes from the Pokemon game

Team Rocket member: By the way, would you like to join Team Rocket? We're a group dedicated to evil using POKéMON! Want to join? Are you sure? Come on, join us! I'm telling you to join! Ok, you need convincing! I'll make you an offer you can't refuse!
*battle starts*
(after losing) With your ability, you could become a top leader in TEAM ROCKET!

Lass: Hi! My boyfriend is cool!
*after loss*
I wish my guy was as good as you!

Jr Trainer: I'm a cool guy! I've got a girlfriend!

Youngster: I love shorts! They're cool and comfy to wear!

Misty: Hi, you're a new face! Trainers who want to turn pro have to have a policy about POKéMON! What is your approach when you catch POKéMON? My policy is an all-out offensive with water-type POKéMON!

Lt. Surge: Hey, kid! What do you think you're doing here? You won't live long in combat! That's for sure! I tell you kid, electric POKéMON saved me during the war! They zapped my enemies into paralysis! The same as I'll do to you!

Lass: My friend has a cute POKeMON. I'm so jealous!
*after loss*
I'm not so jealous! You came from Mount Moon? May I have a Clefairy?

Bill: Hiya! I'm a POKeMON... ... No I'm not! Call me BILL! I'm a true blue POKéMANIAC! Hey! What's with that skeptical look? I'm not joshing you, I screwed up an experiment and got combined with a POKéMON! So how about it? Help me out here!
Ash: No.
Bill: No!? Come on, you gotta help a guy in deep trouble! What do you say, chief? Please? OK? All right! When I'm in the TELEPORTER, go to my PC and run the Cell Seperation System!
Leto (in real life): Why did I bother saying no, you can't take no for an answer!
Bill: Yeehah! Thanks, bud! I owe you one! So, did you come to see my POKeMON collection? You didn't? That's a bummer. I've got to thank you... Oh, here, maybe this'll do.
ASH received an SS ticket!
Bill: That cruise ship, SS Anne, is in VERMILLION CITY. Its passengers are all trainers! They invited me to their party, but I can't stand fancy do's. Why don't you go instead of me?

(I love it in games how you can just wander into people's houses/rooms and nobody cares. But in this case, somebody isn't pleased.)
Gentleman: You pup! How dare you barge in!

Girl in POKéMART: I think POKéMON can be good or evil. It depends on the trainer.

Erika: Hello! Lovely weather, isn't it! It's so pleasant. ... Oh dear... I must have dozed off. Welcome. My name is ERIKA. I am the LEADER of CELADON GYM. I teach the art of flower arranging. My POKéMON are of the grass-type. Oh, I'm sorry, I had no idea that you wished to challenge me. Very well, but I shall not lose.

Team Rocket member: How can you not see the beauty of our evil?

Giovanni: I see that you raise POKeMON with utmost care. A child like you would never understand what I hope to achieve. I shall step aside this time! I hope we meet again...

Lass: When POKéMON grow up, they get ugly! They shouldn't evolve!

Rocket: POKéMON are only good for making money! Stay out of our business!

Bird Keeper: My POKéMON look happy even though they lost. (Yeah, POKéMON really look happy when they're unconscious. Good one. ^_^.)

Jr. Trainer: My cute POKéMON wish to make your aquaintance.

Biker: Fork over all your cash when you lose to me, kid!
*after loss*
I was just joking about the money!

Biker: You only live once, so I live as an outlaw! TEAM ROCKET RULES!

Koga: Fwahahaha! A mere child like you dares to challenge me? Very well, I shall show you true terror as a ninja master! You shall feel the despair of poison and sleep techniques!

Biker: We're bikers! Highway stars!

Supernerd: I know why Blaine likes fire Pokemon! Blaine was lost in the mountains when a fiery bird Pokemon appeared. Its light enabled Blaine to find his way down!

Giovanni: Fwahahaha! This is my hideout! I planned to ressurect TEAM ROCKET here! But, you have caught me again! So be it! This time, I'm not holding back! Once more, you shall face GIOVANNI, the greatest trainer!

Giovanni: TM27 is FISSURE! I made it when I ran the gym here, too long ago... Having lost, I cannot face my underlings! TEAM ROCKET is finished!

Gary: So, you're going to the Pokemon League? You collected all the badges too? That's cool! Then I'll whip you ASH as a warm up for Pokemon League! Come on!
*after loss*
What?! I was just careless!
That loosened me up! I'm ready for Pokemon League! Ash, you need more practice! But hey, you know that! I'm out of here. Smell ya!

(I'm wondering, what the heck was that all about? I beat him and he tells me *I* need more practice?)

Hiker (to Ash): Heh heh heh, aren't you a little toughie!

Beauty (to Ash): Oh, you're a little cutie!
*after loss*
You looked so cute, too! I forgive you! I can take it!

Jr. Trainer (to Ash): You look gentle, so I think I can beat you!

(What's with all these snap judgements of Ash from people he's never met before? ^_^;;)

Juggler?: I heard rumors of a child prodigy!...
*after loss*
The rumours were true!.... You beat Giovanni of Team Rocket?

Lass (outside Rock Tunnel): The POKéMON here are so chunky! There should be a pink one with a floral pattern!

Quotes from the anime

Jessie: There was something that prevented me from having friends when I was a little girl.
James: It must have been your personality!

Jessie: It worked like a charm because I'm so charming!

Misty: I think (Ash) has grown up a lot since being in the Pokemon League, don't you? Hey, where's Ash?
Ash (running past): Let's eat fast so we can eat again!

Jessie: Let's get to work and fix this thing!
James: But Jessie, I don't know the first thing about work!

Ivy: We stopped cleaning the house, and started calling it...
Assistants: Our little dump!
Ash: Dumps are a lot cleaner...

Ash (about Ivy-tachi): The Pokemon eat quieter than they do...

James: It's safe enough kid, whaddya want, to live forever?

(A weird kind of light approaches Team Ash)
Ash: What's that?
Tracey: Some weird kind of light!

(Team Ash come across a tunnel)
Tracey: Looks like a tunnel!

Tracey: Oh, I get it. When it comes to bug Pokemon, Misty's a real chicken!

Meowth (after crash-landing): I should be gettin' frequent flyer miles...

(Ash and Brock stretch)
Ash: You know me, there's nothing I love more than a good workout.
Misty: The only thing that gets a good workout with those two is the TV remote.

Jessie: All we have to do is show up!
James: And all they have to do is throw us out!

Brock: They usually go to one of those big beautiful theatres downtown for the premieres of all the new blockbusters.
Misty: This block looks pretty busted to me.

Spielbunk: My film is about Pokemon, so I left you all on the cutting room floor. It hurt me so to do it!
Ash: It hurt us even more...

Ash: I'm tired and hungry.
Brock: I'm exhausted and starving.
Misty: I'm fine and dandy.

Jessie: We've got something Onixpected.
Meowth: That joke is Onixeptable.

Jessie: Don't you know that ladies go first?
James: Etiquette schmetiquette!
Meowth: Every Meowth for itself!

(They find that Eve became a doctor at age 8)
Brock: A doctor...
Ash: Already...
Misty: When I was eight, I was still afraid of doctors.

Eve: It's not like I got perfect grades or anything... I got an A-minus once, eheheheh...

Jessie: I'm an experienced actress. In first grade, I portrayed a worm who lived inside a rotten apple.

Jessie: It's a real prima donna!
Misty: Takes one to know one.
Jessie: Huh? Know one what?

Misty: Psyduck, you're too dumb to know how dumb you ARE.

Brock: That Wigglytuff's more tuff than wiggly.

Ash: I don't see any beautiful girl...
Misty: Just turn around!
Ash: Misty, please, only one of us can hallucinate at a time.

Brock: Florinda... what a beautiful name for a wife!

Brock: You taught Gloom the most powerful grass Pokemon attack?!
Florinda: Oh, do you think I shouldn't have?

Ash: I'm never late for a meal or a Pokemon battle.

Brock: I'll never find another girl like her!
Ash: Don't worry Brock, you'll find plenty of other girls to reject you.

James: Maybe I just wasn't meant to be happy.
Jessie: Only spoiled little brats like you can afford to waste time thinking that way! Haven't you ever heard of positive thinking?

Jessie: I'm all for positive thinking, but Meowth seems to be stretching the concept a little too far.

Misty: That's all we need, another Ash.

Brock: You directed my favourite movie of all time, "I saw what you ate last Tuesday"!
Katrina: Wow, you wrote that?! I almost saw that one!

James: I don't think I'm tough enough to be a woman.

(Team Rocket discuss opening a fast food chain)
Jessie: We could call it...Jessie's!
James: Or James'!
Jessie: Want a burger or fries without any trouble?
James: If you're really hungry, then make it double!
Jessie: To protect the world from hunger and thirst!
James: Our food isn't bad, at least not the worst!
Jessie: Team Rocket Restaurant blasting in for a bite!
Jessie/James: We stay open all day, we stay open all night!

(Ash removes his Mr Mime costume head)
Team Rocket: AAGH! Its head came off!

(Psyduck clamps onto Slowpoke's tail)
Ash: It's gonna be a Psybro!
Misty: A Psybro? I've never heard of a Psybro.
Brock: That's because there's no such thing!

Ash: I'm so hungry I could eat a horsea.

James: A star-mie is born!

Oswald: Hmm, this is indicating that you are ALSO an alien!
Misty: That thing is spacier than YOU are!

Chopper: We'll call you Awesome Ash!
Ash (embarassed): Gee, I'm not... that awesome...
Tyra: Mighty Misty!
Brock: You can call me honey!

Brock: It must be a girl thing.
Ash: Maybe it's not a girl thing, maybe it's just a Misty thing.

Tracey: To be a Pokemon Watcher, one must BREATHE like a Pokemon Watcher.
Ash: Breathing. Big deal.

Gary: Who left their loser on the boat?

Brock: Jigglypuff is a real Pokecasso.
Misty: Well, I don't think it's funny! I look like a cartoon character!

Psyduck: Psy...
Slowpoke: Poke...
Psyduck: Duck.
Slowpoke: Slow.
Ash: I'll bet this isn't the most intelligent conversation in Pokemon history.

Brock: She may be a little too young for me.
Misty: You're sad.

Ash: You don't mind, do you Professor?
Professor Oak: I have a feeling, that whether I mind or not, I won't be able to stop you.
Ash: I knew I could count on you Professor!

Misty: Oh no! It's a Pokemon version of Brock!

Ash: Now we have to prepare for trouble...
Misty: Here we go again.

Westwood: Forgive me, Westwood the fifth... oh, that's me.

Brock: Um, miss, I was wondering, since I'm new in town, maybe we could get together tonight, and you could show me around.
Jenny: Well, I'm not off-duty until past your bedtime.

Ash: Well, that's just one more case solved by Ash Ketchum, master detective!
Misty: Excuse me, but you didn't solve anything.
Brock: Are you joking?
Ash: Eh heh heh hehhh...

Doctor: By the way Nurse Joy, would you be interested in going out for pizza Saturday night?
Nurse Joy: You can talk to me about pizza after our work is done!
Doctor: Well... can't blame a guy for trying!
Brock: I don't like this guy. He sounds like me!
Misty: That is disturbing!

(A herd of wild Pikachu is in a forest)
James: Everything in this forest is public property!
Jessie: And we're all members of the public!
Meowth: So that means all these Pikachu are really our property!

Jessie: It's made from environmentally safe material that absorbs electricity.
Brock (heavy sarcasm): That's very thoughtful of you!

Misty: I'm willing to give up the excitement of going to look for firewood to stay here and keep you company, Brock!

Ash: She's just like a movie star!
Misty: You want stars, do you? Well, I'll give you lots of stars...

Misty: All that crunching is ruining my romantic daydreams!

Jessie: I guess we'll just have to settle for little Eevee!
Misty: Forget it, you old hag! We won't let you do that!
Jessie: What... did you just call me?! *Jessie goes angry and scary and starts breathing fire*
Meowth: Wow! Jessie just evolved into a Flareon!

Misty: It must be nice to have big brothers!
Ash: You could pass for my brother.
Brock: Grasshopper have little sense but big mouth.

(Team Rocket are going to use a Pokemon to give Snorlax a kiss and wake it up, ala Sleeping Beauty)
Ash: Brock, which Pokemon do you think they'll try?
Brock: The same ones they always do!
Misty: Snorlax will have nightmares...
Ash: Those lips'd give me nightmares too...

(Snorlax cringes in its sleep)
Misty: It looks like it's been poisoned!
Brock: How would you look if you got kissed by Meowth?
Ash: I'd look for a new mouth!

(James shares the only memory of his childhood)
James: "Then the boy departed this world. Little Growly howled all night. The boy was found frozen solid."
Jessie (sobbing): Ohh... that's such a sad ending!
Meowth (also sobbing): That poor kid!
Brock (bawling): I can't believe James is go-o-one!
Ash (also bawling): I miss him!
Pikachu (crying): Pi-i-i!

Ash: I'm having a major hat crisis. Could you try to steal Pikachu some other time?

Jessie: To protect the world from boring fashion!
James: To dress all people with flash and passion!
Jessie: To give all Pokemon pretty faces!
James: To extend our art to outer spaces!
Jessie: Jessie!
James: James!
Jessie: (with French accent) Salon Rocket - when it comes to chic we know what's right!
James: Surrender your taste or prepare to fight!

Jessie: To denounce the evils of truth and love.
James: To extend our reach to the stars above...
Jessie: Jessie!
James: James with a perfect tan!

James: Jessica...
Jessie: Yes, James?
James: Whoever said beauty doesn't last must've been thinking of us!
Jessie (tearfully): I'll always remember what a wonderful dresser you were!
James (also tearfully): So will I!

James (hysterically): I can't cross that inferno! Jessie and Meowth, you go ahead! I'm staying here!
Jessie (slapping him): James James James James James! Snap out of it! How long do you think you'd last on this side?! (gentler tone) Now, let's go. We'll cross together.
James: Oh Jessie!

(Team Rocket awaken after Team Ash were about to give them a burial-at-sea)
Ash-tachi: AAAH! ZOMBIES!
James (offended): Who are you calling zombies?!
Jessie (also offended): We are not zombies!

(Meowth dives at Magikarp to eat it, but breaks his teeth)
Misty: I wouldn't try that again if I was you. Check your Pokedex, 'cos Magikarp is just scales and bones.
Meowth (weakly): I wish you'd told me that sooner!
James (frustrated): Gah, not only can this fish not SWIM, it's not even good for eating!
Jessie: See, I told you buying it was stupid!
James: (kicks Magikarp into sea) You good for nothing fish! I don't want to be your master!

James: I'm James, your master. Obey me.
James: *whimpers
Jessie: Dimwit! IF you're the master, don't act like you're scared of it!
James: I am scared!

Ash: I just don't understand it. My Butterfree's great. Why would any other Butterfree reject it?... Butterfree, maybe you just have to show off your strength, and let the others see how great you are. Show how powerful your tackle is! Or how you can use stun spore!
Misty: That's right, Butterfree! You've got to be assertive! Love is all about attacking your opponent first! Get in a quick punch and surprise them, and while they're still weak, take the lead and you'll beat 'em hands down! Trust me, I know. That's the best way to win!
Brock: D'ya mean it?
Misty: Sure do! That's love!
Brock: Ah, I wish I'd known that sooner!

(Team Rocket steal a lot of Butterfree during their mating season)
Jessie: We're in love too, little girl! With all the pretty little Pokemon!
James: Those Butterfree are free no more!
Ash: Grr, we've gotta stop them!

Ash: So this is the way to Saffron City, huh Misty? I knew we shouldn't have listened to you, now we'll never find it!
Misty: As if! Your sense of direction is so bad, you couldn't find yourself in a mirror!
Ash: You break mirrors!
Misty: You big baby!
Brock: That's enough, guys. You two don't want to stand here and insult each other like this.
Ash/Misty: Yes we do!

Ash: It's Team Rocket!... eww, gross, they both kissed me! *makes retching noises*

James: To extend our reach to the stars above!
Jessie: Jessie!
James: James!
Ash (holding up an egg): Is this it?
(We see that Ash-tachi are crawling around on the ground examining all the eggs, completely ignoring the posing Rockets)
Jessie: HEY! You didn't let us finish!

(Team Rocket have stolen an egg and Meowth has become very attached to it and is going to hatch it. James would rather eat it. ^_^. When he sees Meowth taking a bath with the egg...)
James: Oooh, you're boiling it! I like mine soft boiled!

(Team Rocket go on TV... sorta... and give the speech. Ash-tachi just all sit down and start drinking tea)
Jessie: Jessie!
James: James!
Misty (unimpressed voice): Their show is pretty boring.
Ash: It'll get cancelled pretty soon.
James (wounded tone): We're boring?

James: A power failure, is it? I can identify... with failure.

(Ash confronts whatever has been following them, that scared Misty)
Ash: Alright! If anyone's there, you can come on out! And if you're a ghost or a monster... you can stay where you are and we won't bother you.
Misty: And you call ME chicken! You're a total coward!
Ash: Maybe not a total coward...

Ash: Why'd you have to open your mouth and make the Grimer mad, Misty?!
Misty: I had to open my mouth! I couldn't use my nose!

Jessie: Now the fun begins! With our new secret weapon! Tell them, James!
James: Now that Pikachu is magnetised, our plan is to take this high-powered electromagnet and...
Meowth: Hey! Who are you talking to? Let's just catch Pikachu!
(We see that Team Rocket are all alone inside a machine. Jessie and James, pulled back to Earth by Meowth's matter-of-fact interruption, quit posing and sit back down.)
Jessie: Why don't you keep your snide remarks to yourself, Meowth.
James: That's right.

(Gary sees Ash at a place where only elite trainers were invited)
Gary: Must just be an unlucky coincidence! Only the best were invited. Like me, Gary from the town of Pallet! The number one trainer! Ash is fourth.
Ash: I'm fourth?... I'm better than that!
Gary: You were the fourth to leave home, but as a trainer... you're dead last!
Ash: Ohhh....
Gary: Now watch as I step up to the plate... and hit a Pokemon grand slam!
Fanclub: Gary! Gary!
Misty: He's very...
Brock: Detestable.
Gary: So, Ash. Have you picked up any good Pokemon?
Ash: Of course I have! You wanna see?
Gary: No thanks, Ash. Only amateurs show off their Pokemon. If I were gonna show something off, it'd be my personal fanclub!
Fanclub: Gary Oak, Gary Oak! He comes through when others choke!
Ash: Are they Pokemon?
Brock (hitting him): Don't be dumb!... so, who are the girls?
Gary: They're just some friends of mine.
Brock: They're nice friends. *to girls* How would you lovely young ladies like to get together with me some time?
Fanclub: Yes, sir. That would be fun.
Brock (disbelieving): Yes 'sir'?
Misty: Brock's over the hill already!
Brock: Okay. So they think I'm an old man. But I don't care. I'm desperate!

James: I'll get rid of those Diglett!
Jessie: Don't forget, James - we're a team!
James: You're right. I almost forgot that!
Jessie/James: And our team is... (they strike a pose) TEAM ROCKET!
Meowth (picking up phone): Hello? Uh, I wonder if it's possible to get traded to a less embarassing team.

Jessie: James, what's the matter, what's wrong?
James: How can we possibly defeat all those Pokemon, when all we've got are...
Jessie: Ekans...
James: And Koffing!

Ash: Ohh, Team Rocket. I forgot about them. Sorry guys, but we're not in the mood for you right now, okay?
Jessie: Tsk tsk tsk. But, we're in a good enough mood for everyone!
James: Yes, and we never even had lunch!

(Team Rocket discuss Fuchsia Gym)
James: Well, I for one am not impressed. It looks like a Japanese restaurant.
Jessie: There are lots of precious poisonous Pokemon in that mansion.
Meowth: Then let's figure a way to bust into this ninja joint, snatch the poison Pokemon and hit the road.
Jessie: Poisonous Pokemon are positively perfect for perfidious people like us!
James: What does that mean?
Jessie: It means beautiful things can be painful!
*Jessie throws him a rose, and it pricks him* James: Oww, that hurt!

James (whining): Jessie! It's too hard to move in these costumes!
Jessie: A ninja mansion calls for a Kabuki star. We have to wear these outfits.
James: Yes, but -
Meowth: If you can't move, we'll lose the Pokemon!
Jessie: You're right. Let's change.

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